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Reason #2: I Like My Life The Way It Is

March 28, 2011

Kids can be cute. You see them for a few minutes at most, walking down the street or in a store. You have no idea what that child is like for an entire day or an entire month…or an entire year. The parents are stuck with that kid for 18+ years, unless they’re one of the many who end up in foster care. I’m sure if I DID have a kid, it would be adorable. But, that’s not enough.

I like my life, so why would I want to alter it? I went to college for journalism because I like journalism. It’s like changing majors and going for chemistry. I already know I don’t like chemistry, so why would I change majors?

Children dramatically alter your life. . I am going to skip the whole pregnancy/childbirth chapter to the actual kid part. From day one, everything changes. A kid zaps your energy. Zaps your financial resources. Zaps your social and sex life. Sure, they’re cute but how long are you going to stare at that kid? As it gets older, it begins to challenge you. They learn the word “No”. They begin kindergarten and you have to fight to get a spot in one of the better schools. You join a waiting list, fret and worry, and then you have to do all the things mommies have to help their kids do in school: make lunches, bring something for show-and-tell, speak to other mommies, playdates with Sue and Sally. It’s farcical.

By the way, that’s just kindergarten.

My life is carefree and fun, for the most part. I even enjoy my responsibilities: working, paying rent, paingy car insurance, paying for gas, taking care of my dog, cleaning the house, cooking and volunteering. I can’t relate to bright plastic toys and silly bedtime fairy tale stories and colouring books. I don’t have the patience for that crap. I’m not going to sit in a lovely white cotton summer dress with a smile on, teaching little Frankie about dinosaurs and volcanoes. That’s not me.

I don’t feel the need to apologize for my life choices. I’d rather live my life and be happy than do what everyone else is doing and live with regrets. I’m 21 years old. People tell me I have ‘tons’ of time and I’ll change my mind. If not, I should at least consider adopting a kid. To begin with, only a handful of countries let lesbians adopt a kid. Secondly, a kid is a kid is a kid is a kid. Whether it comes from MY uterus, my fiancee’s uterus or the uterus of a woman named Alejandra in Uruguay—it’s STILL a kid and it will STILL alter my life whether at age 1, age 8 or age 12.

A woman in the neighbourhood who also has a dog said, “Your dog is so friendly. He must love kids.”

And I said, brazenly (she was a mother), “No he doesn’t like kids.”

And she goes, “What happens when you have kids?”

And I said, “I’m not having kids. I don’t like them either.”

And I expected her to be offended or insulted, or change the subject abruptly, thinking I’m strange but she just said simply, “Well then, that works out.”

And the great thing is, it really does work out. There are things in life that make us happy that have nothing to do with Elmo. I know whether I’m 21 or 51, I won’t want kids because I actually like my life. It’s simple but it’s true, and just as a mother couldn’t imagine life without a baby–I can’t imagine life with one.

Living a happy, carefree life. Why change it?

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