Skip to content

I Would Be a Mother If…

March 29, 2011

…THEY HAD THESE INVENTIONS:

 

1. THE BABY MUZZLE: SIMILAR TO THE DOG MUZZLE, THIS CONTRAPTION ERADICATES THE SOUND OF BABY CRIES AND THERE IS EVEN A TODDLER VERSION FOR THE MOUTHY ONES!

2. THE ROBOTIC NANNY: NOT ONLY CAN YOU FORGET ABOUT FILING TAXES FOR YOUR HARD WORKING, IMMIGRANT NANNY YOU’RE EXPLOITING BUT THE ROBOTIC NANNY IS PROGRAMMED TO DO YOUR JOB OF 24/7 FOR 18 YEARS –FREE OF PAY. NOW MOMMY CAN GET BACK TO WORK AND HER SEX LIFE!

3. THE OUT OF BODY UTERUS: A BODY PART THAT GROWS IN A SCIENTIFIC TUBE AND HOLDS YOUR BABY UNTIL BIRTH. BABY WILL BE BORN ON A HOSPITAL SLAB AND YOU CAN WATCH WITH YOUR VIDEO CAMERA, IF YOU HAVE A STRONG STOMACH, THAT IS.

4. THE BABY BACKPACK : INSTEAD OF CARRYING A RIDICULOUSLY LARGE NAME BRAND STROLLER, YOU CAN NOW HIDE YOUR BABY IN A BACKPACK WITH BREATHABLE HOLES. THIS WAY, PEOPLE WON’T KNOW IF YOU HAVE A BABY OR NOT. AND THEY CAN WALK ON THE STREETS AGAIN!

5. BE GONE SPRAY – THIS SPRAY WORKS ON EVERYTHING FROM BABY POOP SMELLS TO BAD ATTITUDE. RECOMMEND BUYING FROM BIRTH UNTIL MARRIAGE OF THE CHILD.

 

Advertisements
Leave a Comment

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: