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Reasons Why People THINK They Want Kids( Part 1.)

March 31, 2011

1. Keeping up with the Joneses who have 2.5 kids and a Golden Retriever aka “Starting our own Family”

Sure the grass looks greener on the other side of the freshly painted white picket fence, but do you really want the stress of Baby Sally when she’s 16 and what happens if freckled Freddy comes out as a homosexual? Are you going to love him unconditionally as a 25 year old homosexual as much as you did when he was a 2 year old baby in diapers? I say: keep the Retriever and scrap the kids.

2. You have a lot of love to give, why not share it with a kid? A.K.A “Parenting through rose coloured glasses”

Well, this isn’t a bad reason, actually. By all means, go ahead and hope for the best. Cross your fingers and hope the love will be reciprocated even though in today’s times kids are calling their parents names like “b*tch” and “wh*re” and likely won’t answer your phone calls when you wonder if they’ll be home for dinner (hint: they WON’T).

3. To fulfill your destiny a.k.a “Giving up on life and giving in to societal pressures”

I don’t blame you. It’s difficult to be a thinking, reasoning woman when you are being bombarded with subliminal messages to procreate every time you blink your eyes. It’s easier to sigh, give in and spend the average $1,000 dollars on diapers a year (more if they’re cloth…and if you don’t want to be a social pariah, you better get those cloth ones); instead of spending it on a trip to Dubai, that electric bike you always wanted, tuition for a foreign language class…or new Christian Louboutins (or you can always save it…).

4. To Seize the Moment a.k.a “I’ve got Baby Fever”

A lot of babies are born when the parent(s) get an urge to be a new mum or pop, thanks to co-workers showing off pics of their offspring on iPhones and in their wallets or Facebook profiles devoted to little ones. But will you regret “seizing the moment” when your husband gets laid off? Do you have money saved up for rainy days or were you too busy buying Baby UGGS for little Josie? What happens if you guys split? Have you heard of Post-partum Depression? Will you love your baby the same when he turns out to be autistic…or how about ADHD in the first grade, running around like a monkey with his pupils dilated? Just a thought….

Your infant 14 years from now...

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3 Comments
  1. anonymousssshhh permalink

    I think this article would be a lot stronger without THE HOMOPHOBIA.

    • I am a lesbian myself. I am not homophobic, but from firsthand experience and from what many gay men and women experience–some parents would have rather not have a child at all than have a gay child. They will go as far as to disown their own child for being homosexual. I wanted to raise this point so that people will think about their child’s sexuality, personalities, preferences and realize they will be their own person.

  2. bootsyboots permalink

    i love this post. everyone thinks they’ve got the a-#1 reason that should make me want to change my mind and start popping out the babies. ha. thanks for showing how weak these reasons are!

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