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We Appreciate the Honesty

December 18, 2011

After reading the article I just posted previously titled I Really Regret Having Children which was posted in the Canadian newspaper Globe and Mail in 2009, I cannot believe how liberating it is to hear from a stalwart mother of two. It begs the questions, how many other women feel just like her? That motherhood was a shitty sham going into, and they felt robbed, at loss and deceived? These are Corinne Maier’s reasons not to have kids that are listed in her best-selling book:

  1. The desire for children: A false aspiration.
  2. Childbirth is torture.
  3. Don’t become a travelling feeding bottle.
  4. Continue to amuse yourself.
  5. Subway-job-kids: No thank you!
  6. Hold onto your friends.
  7. Do not adopt the idiot language we use to address children.
  8. To open the nursery is to close the bedroom.
  9. Child, the killer of desire.
  10. They are the death knell of the couple.
  11. To be or to make: You shouldn’t have to choose.
  12. The child is a kind of vicious dwarf, of an innate cruelty.
  13. It is conformist.
  14. Children are too expensive.
  15. You become an ally of capitalism.
  16. They will destroy your time and your freedom.
  17. The worst drudgery for the parents.
  18. Do not be deceived by the notion of the ideal child.
  19. You will inevitably be disappointed by your child.
  20. To become a merdeuf (soccer mom) – what horror!
  21. Parenting above all else – no thanks.
  22. Block your professional path with children.
  23. Families: They are horror and cruelty.
  24. Don’t fall into an overgrown childhood.
  25. To persist in saying “me first” is a badge of courage.
  26. A child will kill the fond memories of your childhood.
  27. You will not be able to prevent yourself from wanting your child to be happy.
  28. Child care is a set of impossible dilemmas.
  29. School: a prison camp with which you’ll have to make a pact.
  30. To raise a child, but toward what kind of future?
  31. Flee from the benevolent blandness.
  32. Parenting will make you soft.
  33. Motherhood is a trap for women.
  34. To be a mother, or to succeed: You must choose.
  35. When the child appears, the father disappears.
  36. The child of today must be a perfect child: a brave new world.
  37. Your child will be in constant danger from pedophiles and pornographers.
  38. Why contribute to a future of unemployment and social exclusion?
  39. There are too many children in the world.
  40. Turn your back on the ridiculous rules of the “good” parent.

Reasons 13, 15 and 25 resonate deeply with me. We often hear reasons not to have children from the childfree who cite many positive things associated with being childless but Maier is letting us know that motherhood isn’t all it’s cracked up to be after she took the jump. An educated woman with the help of her husband in a beautiful place like Brussels, France is saying what the childfree have been chanting all along! If her book helps women to realize that France’s generous maternity benefits keeps women out of the workforce and stuck in domestic oblivion then we need her book EVERYWHERE. Not just in France–but in the United States and Canada too! She says Paris is rife with baby mania but from what I see–this phenomenon is active here in Canada as well. It is a conformist, capitalistic endeavour that robs women of their full potential and creativity, and earning power. I hope in the future more women come forward (not anonymously, either) as mothers who can tell women who don’t have kids the truth.

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From → childfree

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