True Dad Confessions
When I see comments like this is makes me think of those people that comment on Childfree articles asking why this is still a topic, and who cares if you don’t want kids don’t have them. A lot of people do not understand how bad the pressure can get and how much it can ruin lives if a person gives in. this is a comment from the unhappily married men article I just posted.
“I had a girlfriend in college that I loved very much. She didn’t want to have children and my parents made her out to be some kind of weirdo because of it. I broke up with her over it and married a girl I met at work a few years later. My wife and I have 2 kids. My parents asked me all the time, when are you going to make us grandparents, when are you going to have kids. Not once did they ever ask me, are you ready to have kids, do you know whats involved. The pressure of them asking all the time was immense. They always made me feel like having kids was something every body did and I had to do it too. They made me feel like the woman I truly loved was wrong for her decision. They pressured me into the situation I am in now. Kids change everything. No one warned me or taught me anything about this. I’m just expected now to not want to go out anymore, to give up every night to homework, to give up every weekend to all their activities. It’s not their fault but I resent them for taking my life away from me. I can’t do any of the things I used to enjoy. I work hard and make good money but I never have any because of the kids. My wife is an excellent mother which is why I married her. She loved kids and wanted to have them. My parents pressed it into me that that was the only quality that mattered in a woman. We don’t have sex, we never talk. I can’t stand to be around her. She looks awful because she takes no time on herself at all. She can’t talk about anything but the kids. I resent my parents for being so irresponsible with the pressure on me to have kids and for never ever teaching me how hard it was to raise kids. I resent my wife and my kids. I feel stupid for letting all these people push me and make decisions for me. I hate that I never thought for myself. I hate my life. I hate coming home from work, I hate spending time with my kids. I hate when I have to speak to my wife. I’m not having an affair but I would if I found a woman that wanted to. I love my kids but if I had it to do all over again knowing what I know now I would never have had them. I would not have listened to my parents. I would not have married my wife. I would have married the woman I really loved and I would be happy, much happier than I will ever be being a father. One more thing, I talk about this with different men I work with or know from the gym or from college. Many of them are in similar situations as me as far as having kids and the way their wives are and many of them feel like I do about it. I am by far the worst and I think it’s because of my parents.”