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“I Don’t Like Kids” (From a Man)

January 28, 2012

By Bob the Backpacker

My sister in law had a baby last year, I did the ‘right’ thing and held him for 15 seconds and then passed him onto the next person.

The next 12 months went past very quickly, with me managing to avoid getting within a metre of the child. Then his first birthday party came around and I did the ‘right’ thing again and held him, for about 30 minutes this time.

The girls were thrilled, mother-in-law was taking photos from the corner, my partner had a smile that wrapped around her face three times and the kid was pretty happy too (but he’s easily satisfied at this point in his life) …

You could see in their eyes a hope that maybe I had turned a corner, that maybe, just maybe I might be coming to over to their side of an age-old argument.

Well, I hate to break it you, I still don’t like babies. I don’t like kids either; its nothing personal, I just don’t like them.

I don’t like seeing yet another set of photos of said kid sitting doing what kids do. I don’t like seeing a video of it either.

It’s not that I ‘hate’ kids, I just have zero interest in them.

Give me a beer, a fishing rod, a bike, a ticket to Russia, drop me in the middle of the Australian bush for a week … whatever. They all interest me. Kids don’t.

On the in-laws’ side of the family it’s all about babies; they want to procreate and multiply.

Becoming a mother was the moment that the sister-in-law had been preparing for all her life, the same with the new grandparents.

They are happy to sit in their small corner of the country and devote their life to this kid.

I kind of get that, except that is all they do. I’m a bit more complex, not saying I’m better, just different.

My dad said to me a few years ago to just go with the flow.

“You’ll get used to it, it will make sense eventually,” he said.

I’m taking his advice seriously, I’m going with the flow, hoping that I get used to it, and that it makes sense … eventually.

This doesn’t mean that I’m going to start kissing babies left, right and centre, it just means I’m marrying my girl (who I adore), going to start a family and hope that it pans out alright (let’s not visit the possibility of what happens if it doesn’t).

You see she wants to have kids and that was the unofficial deal. I want her in my life, she wants me, and she wants kids.

So what happens next you may ask? Why do I bring this topic to the reading audience of BaBB?

Well, is not liking kids, but still going down that path, hoping that ‘you’ll come around’, the wrong or right approach?

Is it like trying beer for the first time and eventually getting a taste for it?

It’s not like I’m looking for answers, more curious about what the rest of you think. Unless you’re a kid.

  1. I hated kids until I had my own. They are useful as minions and sources of amusement. Yes, like beer, it’s an acquired taste … not as hard to get used to as Scotch (I’m talking about being around children, not eating them, of course).

  2. DLadyEarlyGrey permalink

    Honestly, no. It’s not fair to the child to have one without really knowing if you’ll like it. What do you do then?

    Well, most dudes who simply went along with their intended’s wishes just pack up and take off afterwards. I have little sympathy for absentee fathers. Also, it seems like you would, at best, tolerate the kid, but have no real relationship with it. Just hide at work all day, and hope you can salvage your relationship with your wife.

    I’m not trying to steer you away from kids, but you should really give this some serious thought.

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