Skip to content

Childfree Interview with Janet

February 2, 2012

Question # 1 – What made you decide to become, or gradually move towards becoming, a childfree person? Was this choice recent or has the idea been for a while? How do you think the idea of remaining childfree has evolved throughout your life?

I chose not to have children while in my teens.  I never felt interested in having children nor felt drawn to them.  As I grew older this became a more solidified thought.  When I met my husband we talked about children and though he said he assumed he would have some he was not willing to stay home to take care of them.  I did not feel called to be a full time mother and did not like the idea of pregnancy.

When we were ready to choose sterilization 5 years into our marriage our doctor refused saying we were too young to make the decision and we might change our minds.  I was on the pill for over ten years before we found a doctor who agreed.

Question # 2 – What main advantages do you think the childfree lifestyle has? Which advantages have you experienced in your own life? How about disadvantages or challenges of being childfree?

Being childfree has allowed us to make short term decisions easily.  We can choose to go on vacation, work overtime or take in a movie without a lot of arranging.   In the long term, not having children has allowed us to change careers and survive when one of us lost our job.  If we had had children I would not have been able to go to school to change careers and the loss of the sole breadwinning job would  have probably bankrupted us.

Not having children has allowed us to take on caregiver roles when family and friends have needed help whether with their own health or with the needs of their children.  I have worked as a caregiver for my friend’s children and have been able to devote my whole time to their needs as they were not competing with my own children for my attention.

The disadvantages are many and mostly relate to living in community.  It is difficult for us to find friends at church as almost all couples have children and they tend to hang out together.  The singles in the church tend to be younger.  We are more isolated in our community as we do not have children in the local school so meeting other families does not happen naturally.  It can be lonely being married without children as you are not part of “normal” society. 

We have also received some hateful comments from people who wanted to know when we would have children.  Now that I am older I feel uncomfortable as people often assume I could not have children and feel sorry for me! 

 

Question #3- Are you attached or single? If you are attached, how does your significant other feel about your decision to not have kids?

Married – as I said this was a mutual decision and we have discussed it many times over the years before sterilization.

Question #4 – Can you cite your 3 top reasons why you are choosing/have choose not to procreate?

  1. 1.        No natural desire to have children.

 

That is the only reason.  I think in North America having children should be a desire. 

I also had a “bad feeling” about my ability to be a parent – both from a nurturing point of view and how I handle frustration.  I did not think I could be patient enough to raise children and worried that I would not be a good mother.

 

It was only after becoming a Christian that the idea of having a family seemed more relatable.  To raise up children as God’s children in His world seems less about me and my self-fulfillment.  I still think that if you are not “called” to have children, if you do not feel a desire for children it would be a mistake to choose to be a parent. 

 

Question #5 – Can you list some of your hobbies or aspirations?

Volunteering with my church in the community and with friends.

Reading.

I left a full time position to study for ministry and school has been my passion for the past 7 years. 

Question #6 – Do you own any pets?

We own a cat.

Janet, 45, Toronto

Advertisements

From → childfree

2 Comments
  1. Are you looking for more people to fill this survey out or no?

    • Yes, for sure!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: